S03E03 - "Suck It, Malfoy."
The story for this season is "The Critiquer" by dysonrules. This episode continues on Part one of the story. Episode Summary Harry is surprised to learn that his new teacher is his old school nemesis, but is pleasantly surprised to learn that there is bound to be better dick pics in his future. Not to mention being totally hot for teacher. Notable Moments * Musical Opening: Remix of "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies, possibly written by Danny. * Lyndsay jokes that she loves the "It's been" part of that song so much that she just uses it as often as possible. * (D:) Hey Lyndsay, what's the name of that guy you've been dating? (L:) "It's Ben.." * Allie jokes that she is going to get Dumbledong added to her Tramp Stamp Stack. * Allie is a confusing mix of artisanal hippie and Detroit street. It's a very confusing brand. Trader Hoes. She shops at Hoe Foods. * Female equivalent of dick pic: Snatch Shots, InstaVag, punani Polaraoids * "What a cool, chill insult. It's really specific, and really long. ZING!" ~ Lyndsay * Lyndsay pauses the story to demand to know what these wizarding porn magazines are. * Dense Harry jokes. * Lyndsay and Allie think Draco is very flamboyant in this story * Lyndsay reminisces about Little Giants * "I think Henrietta VanZanden, of the Watford VanZandens, is going to be a real stand-out character" ~ Allie ** Later, in Season 5, one of the female names that the Golden Threesome keep using for Harry's female form is Henrietta. * (A:) Hey, we just figured out how the moving pictures work. (D:) The answer is magic Lyndsay. * Draco appears to be taking his fashion advice from Miami Vice. * Danny workshops a Draco voice to go along with his Pansy voice. * "Allie and I know gay sexy, okay?" ~ Lyndsay * Gasping Lyndsay * Reference to Season 2's Dr. Wanda Phillatia, and the Grammagram from the same episode * Proposed Magical Object: Fly-pod * "I don't listen to this podcast." ~ Lyndsay * "Sometimes my dick moves, is that still a still-life?" ~ Danny * "Do dick and balls count as multiple objects?" ~ Lyndsay * "I'm only interested in people I want to sleep with." ~ Lyndsay * Danny was very invested in the story and Allie and Lyndsay applaused his performance. * Hosts debate the difference between dick pics and boner pics (full nudity vs just a "pitched tent") * Harry conquers his past traumas by modifying his broom closet into a photo development studio. * Potterotics Homework: Names for Magical Porn Magazines (or they may just call Allie's mom.) Wands Up or Down Allie: Up *Tension, but not too much. Danny: Up *Finally getting Harry/Draco interactions and teases *Likes the perspective shifts Lyndsay: Up *Especially the vengeful wank at the end. Potterotics Shout Outs *The jokes need Amber's advice on drinking games, specifically whether it's possible to sing the first verse of "One Week" while drunk. *xbeanx got the most amazing Harry Potter tattoo EVER! Other Media * Lyndsay's It's Ben ringtone/texttone (iphone and Android) Wizard mags 1.jpg|Playwiz by Potterotica Podcast Wizards mags 2.jpg|The Pages of Erised by Potterotica Podcast, idea by Potterotic Teresa Wizard mags 3.jpg|Asskaban by Potterotica Podcast, idea by Potterotic Nicole Wizard mags 4.jpg|Devil's Snare by Potterotic Ashley Category:Episodes Category:2017 Category:Reader: Danny Category:Season 3 Category:3 Wands Up Category:Lyndsay: Up Category:Allie: Up Category:Danny: Up